ok I did some major snipping and refining, lemme know if it has any zip left. thanks in advance!

You are What Your Kids Eat

“You did what!?� A mother’s voice boomed from the cubbies as her little girl stood there bawling.

I had never seen anyone (anyone over the age of five that is) raise their voice at my son’s Montessori school.

“I don’t know why you’re crying,� she continued angrily. “It isn’t your fault.� The mother gave me a dirty look and I diverted my eyes. Luckily Satchel bounded into the room and wrapped himself around my leg, so I had an excuse to continue to stand at the front door and gawk.

Undeterred by my presence, the mom roared, “I told those people not to give you that,� as she headed into the classroom in search of one of those people.

I was officially trying not to judge Angry Mom. I’ve certainly been Angry Mom before, but in the privacy of my own home or vehicle.

“Mommy mommy, look at my art!� Satchel exclaimed as he pulled me towards his cubby.

I concocted a hypothesis as I looked at Satchel’s latest depiction of himself as a red Power Ranger—this time with chicken pox. The little girl must have accidentally had something she was deathly allergic to. Peanuts? Moms of kids with allergies have to be vigilant, I told myself.

But my hypothesis was flawed. Clearly the little girl couldn’t cry so hard if she was in anaphylactic shock.

I peeked around the corner and watched as Angry Mom confronted My Favorite Teacher (MFT) who quickly diffused the situation.

Once Angry Mom was gone, I walked over to MFT with Satchel tugging at my shirt. “You seemed to handle that well,� I said.

“I took a class to deal with parents like that,� she joked.

“What happened?�

“Her daughter had some Sprite at the pizza party.�

“Sprite?� I repeated, trying to sound nonchalant. There was a time when I might have been up in arms over Sprite. “But it isn’t even caffeinated,� I said, purposely ignoring the sugar content.

“I had some Sprite too!� Satchel piped in, trying to regain my attention.

Once a month the school orders out for lunch. Initially, this came as a bit of a shock to me—a woman who breastfed for two years, made all of my own baby food, and packed things like avocado and tofu in my son’s lunch.

“Angry Mom doesn’t want her daughter to drink carbonated drinks,� MFT explained.

“Oh,� I said, trying to figure out the exact evil of carbonation. The gateway to caffeine? I wondered.

The first time the school had a McDonald’s Day was the day after my husband and I saw “Supersize Me� and swore off all fast foods and all soda for the entire family, for eternity.

I was in a panic. I thought of sending Satchel to school with a “mock� McDonald’s meal consisting of a veggie burger and sweet potato fries. I even considered keeping him home. I eventually accepted the fact that despite my good intentions and moral objections, I couldn’t control everything Satchel put in his mouth and that he had a right to have a “treat� every once in awhile.

“I understand wanting your kids to eat healthy,� MFT said, “but it’s not good to scare them.�

“Or the other parents,� I said, now mentally patting myself on the back. Sure, I’ve invoked cooties and cavities on occasion to make broccoli seem more appealing, but our food battles have never resulted in tears.

When we got home, I called my husband to tell him about Angry Mom. I even told him how Sky’s mom had packed her extra fruit to eat with her pizza. “You’re kidding?� he said, both awed and stunned. Lest Sky’s mom look better than me, I said, “The oranges were out of a can, you know, the kind packed in syrup.�

“I guess it made her feel better,� Warren said.

“We all do what we gotta do,� I said. I once read that you should look at a toddler’s diet in terms of what s/he eats in a week, rather than in a single day. Even though Satchel isn’t a toddler anymore, it’s still my mantra.

The next morning, Angry Mom approached me. “I’m sorry if I scared you yesterday,� she said.

“Oh, it’s none of my business,� I said.

“I’m a single mom and a full-time student,� she said, “and I’m under a lot of stress right now.�

“I bet,� I said, trying to act like I could relate to Angry Mom. Even though Warren is gone a lot, I only play a single-mom on TV. Besides, I can always call him on the phone if I need to yell at somebody. “We all just want what’s best for our kids.�

She nodded in agreement. “I feel terrible for what happened. Today, I packed a candy bar in her lunch!� she said with some disbelief.

“Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll be surprised to find that,� I said as I made my way to the cubbies. I stopped mid-smirk when I remembered the day I sent a peanut butter, candy sprinkle, marshmallow and chocolate chip sandwich in Satchel’s lunch to “make up� for serving him vegetable lasagna three nights in a row while Warren was out of town.

When I picked Satchel up from school that day, I asked excitedly, How did you like your sandwich?

It was gross, he said.

I didn’t know whether to be disappointed or proud.