Remember Baby Moon, my book-in-progress of maternity leave essays? Well, having gone so long without working on it cannot improve its quality and I need to get back on the ball...the baby is two and a half and I am forgetting stuff! SO...here is the next installment - Job Moon! Feedback appreciated, por favor!

Job Moon

The very first person who came to visit me at my house after Marigold was born, was the employee who was covering for me at work while I was on maternity leave. I had worked with her for years, but she had never been to my house before. She brought presents for the baby and Mimosa, and also her pregnant sister to see the baby. She stayed and visited with me for a while as I held court in my nightgown and I was glad to see her. That was only a couple of days after the baby was born. At that time, I was not yet checking e-mails from work or even checking in at all. I gave myself two weeks to be completely oblivious.

At around that mark, my employee dropped by again, with some papers I needed and some case stories to share. I sat on the porch with her, still in my nightgown, and enjoyed talking shop a little, and offering what support and advice I could. By that time, I was checking and answering work e-mails and getting a few phone calls with important questions. The visiting employee was taking over my supervisory duties while I was gone, while still maintaining her own caseload. The office’s administrative assistant was, with her help, doing most of the first draft of the annual report. My boss was attending most of my community and committee meetings, but I was still needed to deal with budget and finance issues and to answer the occasional unexpected question from City Hall. I had left reams of instructions for everyone before I left, but, of course, you cannot anticipate everything. And some things are easier to continue doing your self that to explain.

When the baby was about three weeks old, I needed to turn in some grant reports to the City’s finance division, so I packed us up for the trip and drove over to City Hall. I put the baby in her sling and climbed the steps to the building. I saw a lot of people I knew slightly on my way to the elevator and waived and smiled, but it wasn’t until I got up to floor I was going to that people started to stop me and coo over the baby. I was happy chatting with people who stopped us, but turned in my work and made my way back outside without seeking out anyone to chat with myself. It felt weird, that first time, to be in there with the baby. As I was heading down the sidewalk to my car, though, I heard my name being called enthusiastically. I stopped to see my boss and a cherished colleague chasing me excitedly, so I stopped to wait for them. They said they had seen me leaving through the upstairs windows and had been hoping to catch me before I left. They cooed over the baby and I enjoyed talking to them for a bit before returning, happy and tired, to my retreat at home.

My boss was totally great about the baby and I had not been sure that she would be. She was one of that generation of women who got to take two weeks off when her babies were born and had to struggle in ways I had not and give up time I had the luxury of saying that I would not give up. No one helped her and, when I got pregnant, I thought she did not really think that other women deserved the kind of help she was denied. She had been promoted to the position of my boss just a little over a year before and I was still not completely sure of her. She was great fun, but I had heard her say negative things about a former employee who had taken a long maternity leave. A colleague had warned me about the praise she had given him when he did not take much time off after the birth of his child. We had been getting a long really well, but, when I got pregnant, I was concerned.

I was so nervous that I did not even tell my boss I was pregnant until I was a full fourteen weeks along. I did not officially tell my staff until I told her, so – as they could pretty much tell – I think they were secretly miffed that I did not share something so important with them. It seemed inappropriate to me not to tell my boss first, though, so I waited until I got up the guts to tell her, and then told everyone else. She was sweet and congratulatory for a few minutes and then asked if I would be taking twelve weeks. I said that I would be and stammered something unconvincing but true about having no family around who could watch the baby before she was old enough for daycare. There was no paid maternity leave at my job other than whatever paid sick and vacation leave we had accrued, but, in any circumstance, I would sooner have quit my job, given up my house and gone on welfare than I would have given up the 12 weeks of family leave that Congress had said I could have if I could survive that long without a paycheck. I had saved enough paid leave that I would only really be without pay for two and a half weeks and I had saved some money through the irresponsible use of plastic, so I was in better shape than most. My boss pasted a smile on her face and made nice. I was still worried.

As it turned out, though, I had nothing to worry about. My boss and I wanted to work well together and we learned how to do that. Her ways were not my ways and my ways were not her ways, but we respected each other and learned that we could handle that and let each person be who they were and adhere to their own values while doing a good job. Although I had adored my previous boss, who started out entirely tolerant of my quirks, I think I grew the most as an employee and a supervisor by navigating maternity with this boss – I think we grew together, and now we are friends.

There were more trips like that to City Hall during my maternity leave, including some more uncomfortable ones when Marigold screamed until I sat down in the closest available chairs and nursed her, staff and officials be damned. There were also visits I really enjoyed, where lots of friendly colleagues cooed over her and all seemed right with the world. I made sure to go to my favorite board meeting, where I knew she would be welcome, with Marigold in tow so that my fellow board members could all see her and that was a treat. I also made a few baby-in-tow treks to my center when I knew no one else would be around to do small things that needed to be accomplished. Most of the work I did while on leave, though, was accomplished by e-mail and over the phone. My boss was impressed by my availability and helpfulness and I was impressed by how much I got done.

Really, even though I spent very little time on work during my leave compared to the time I spent on it while actively on the job and even though I had my baby with me for virtually every task I accomplished while on leave, I did get quite a great deal done. Moreover, I really enjoyed my accomplishments more than I usually did, because I did not feel like they were taking me away from my children. I have to work and I like working, but I do not like being separated from my children for large chunks of the majority of our days. I think there are a lot of women like me who resent that work is set up to take us away from our children in the modern era. Jobs arranged more like my work was accomplished while I was on maternity leave, jobs where we can stay with our children and work around their needs, are what a lot of women would like to have, I think, if enough people believed that creating jobs in that way was remotely an option. I think men would like their jobs to be like that, too…dads would. We could get a lot done on all fronts, and I think we would be happier. With all the new baby adjustments and hormones and stir-craziness that comes with having a new baby, I was, at the heart of things, happy on leave, except when I thought about going back to work, and having to leave the baby behind.