9 days left in August, I feel like this month is just flying by! So much work done, so much to do. I truly feel at my creative best now, the most this year. The surge and fullness of summer is in me, alongside impending anticipation of fall.
So many changes happened this year. I really don't know where to start. To begin, I'm at last feeling like a grown woman. It's a bit sad, to be 37 and just now feeling like grown folk, but at least the long masquerade of adulthood is over. There is that. In part what took so long was coming to the understanding that I could be the type of woman I longed to be; I didn't have to take on or settle for anyone else's ideas of what a grown woman was like. I could decide and choose that for myself.
A big part of that is claiming the creative life I want to be part of. I've always been creative my entire adult life with my writing, but it took me a long time to claim that I lived and breathed creatively in most aspects of my life. I create when I sing. I create when I exercise. I create when I sew. I create when I parent. I create with my husband. I create when I cook. I create with my homemaking. I create when I garden. I create in my spirituality. My whole life and being is an expression of creativity.
Claiming that has freed me in so many ways. It's taken shackles off my work I did not even know were there. I must say I wish I had come to this realization sooner, but I am glad I came to it right on time.
3 comments on Awesome August
Sat, 08/29/2009 - 12:43am
I have fortunately for the dozen-odd other people in the house, gotten over my mood of earlier in the day. Otherwise there would be blood.
The kids are throwing a dance party. I've never before considered what a bonus it is that my son has rather delicate hearing. He's dj-ing, and as a result we are not getting blasted out. I'd have no compunction about telling them to turn it down anyway (it's MY house), but this way, everybody's happy.
They really are happy. They're jumping up and down and dancing and posing, and the lone boy (other than my son, who is significantly older than the others) is apparently oblivious to the fact that he's supposed to be too mortified to dance in front of a bunch of girls. Meanwhile, I'm eating potato chips. I love potato chips. And there's coffee brewing.
Dinner should have been really good, but instead was a little dull. It's been a long time since I've curried anything, and I went awfully light on the spices. I wouldn't have made it hot in any case, because I have two tender mouths and a tender stomach in the house, but it really needed a much stiffer dose of the spices I can use. A dash of salt wouldn't have hurt. Usually, the salt from a can of tomatoes and another of chicken broth does the job, but apparently not today.
Fri, 08/28/2009 - 4:20pm
no big surprise why right now feels like a beginning; it's the start of the school year. This time of year always feels like the 'real' beginning of the year. This year I'm doing something new, I'm treating the school year as a grade or level for myself, complete with lessons, tests and exams for dealing with life. Will I pass this personal school year? That remains to be seen.
Writing is going well, I have a lot of projects I'm finishing up and I'm getting distribution for my books, so that validation helps with all the rejection letters I'm getting from other places. I suspect my motive (money, they pay really well) for trying to get published in mainstream magazines is affecting my writing. I do see there is a fake quality to it, but I'm just trying to copy the tone and style of writing which I see in these magazines. Oh well, I should just be myself, write like myself.
Positive Emergence Zine | Seed & Flame
Tue, 08/25/2009 - 7:09am
Holy crap, what happened to summer? I don't know. It's gone. I can feel fall coming in my bones. I'm simultaneously *really* relieved after the crazy heat, and kinda sad because it seems like summer is just another season and I miss childhood summers of reprieve and respite from the rest of the year... Ah well. That's being a grown up for you, I guess...
Mmmm. I had more than this to say, but new job (woo! 8 weeks this week!), late night, bad eating today... I'm tired & it's really past time for bed.
"Do not forget. Remember and warn."
-- Plaque fixed to the hollow shell of Sarajevo's National Library