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Scary!! Journals can be requested for your ex to read in custody cases!

I'm suing my ex for child support, and to rescind joint custody and change his visitation (of my 9 year old)and I get a letter from his lawyer about documents I have to submit to them.Included in this list is all my journals, notebooks, and dayrunners since 2000! I asked my lawyer if I had to and she says I do, but we can have a judge review them first to see if anything is relevant to our case...WHAT!?! So, some family court judge gets to read my most private personal thoughts that I only share with some pages, and the maybe it becomes public record in court?!?! I told her I'd have to look around and see if I still had any ;). Good thing I haven't started 300 words or any live journalling, I was thinking about trying it! Can you Mamas believe this!?

By filmmama at 06/16/2004 - 3:26pm | More Stuff to Discuss! | previous forum topic | next forum topic

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OMG!

That is insane. I am very involved with my children, but my journals are extremely personal. I believe that such a request is equal to persecution, especially since my x husband is out to prove that lesbianism equals evil.

I used to keep three different journals, and I am so glad that I usually burn them after (out of habit since high school). I cant say that my journals are full of info about my children. I used my journals to write about info i just had to get off my mind. I will speak the world of my children, but not in my journal. I can talk to anyone about my children...

If they asked for journals, they wouldnt get one, because like I said, I burn them.

Oh, and I dont keep a DayTimer.

blufaerie, out to change the world! No, I'm serious.....

By blufaerie at Wed, 11/10/2004 - 2:38pm |

Smart lady...

I've always saved some of them, I don't know why. I'm not even keeping one anymore. I still have to keep some kind of personal calendar, tho, cause my post-partum brain is holey, I can't remember a thing! Keep burning!

By filmmama at Wed, 11/10/2004 - 4:36pm |

Yeah! It's Crazy

When me and Brian were having serious problems in 2002 and I first mentioned divorce he threatend me with taking the kids from me, going for full custody...I immediately called my lawyer and she told me all about this diary/journal thing. The rational for it is that parents who are genuinely involved with their kids are going to write about their kids. Their Daytimer's or other planners are going to reflect their level of involvement with their kids. This was certainly true in my case, my planners were filled with doctor, dental, and parent-teacher appointments, school volunteer hours, playdates, after-school activities, at-home school projects, meal plans, shopping lists, etc. In my journal I also wrote a lot about them. So Brian would have had a difficult time proving that I was an unfit mother who deserved to have my kids taken away.

In my case I could see how it would be beneficial to let a judge see my personal thoughts. I can also see, though, how invasive this is. Luckily we reconciled and it didn't have to come to that, but because of that experience I will always keep detailed accounts of what and how I spend my time with my children, and I take a a lot of pictures every week.

Mama Specific Productions
trula.org

By Trula at Wed, 06/16/2004 - 8:06pm |

Thanks!

That's a nicer way to think about it - my journals, if I can find them;) would reflect those things, esp. my dayrunners. I just worry because I've done alot of growth and processing over the years, especially related to my childhood, and some of what I've been through just isn't for anyone's eyes but close friends and maybe a therapist...and even they don't read my journals! I guess what bothers me most is that I've worked really hard to keep my ex out of my personal life, and I'd hate for him to get a peek at my emotions or thoughts. Not because there's anything wrong with them, just that it's only for sharing with close friends and folks I love, not a man who I can't stand that destryed me for awhile when I was a young lass in my early 20's....sigh, the means are worth the end, I'll do whatever it takes to keep my daughter safe and happy!

By filmmama at Wed, 06/16/2004 - 10:04pm |

Could you find out specifical

Could you find out specifically what they are looking for? I don't think it is right for a courtroom to go through your journals reading things that don't pertain to your children. Or I wonder if just the judge could read them, without hanging all you thoughts out for your ex to hear.

Good luck. Family court sucks, and is so unfair to everyone.

By mamalove at Wed, 11/10/2004 - 6:38pm |

I have tons from my earlier y

I have tons from my earlier years when I was on the verge of sanity, before motherhood, but just in case there will be a bon fire brewing up. I can't believe the court can do this. My dp doesn't even write- it would be unfair to use someones journal if the other party doesn't even have one. I feel for you, good luck

By kaystar at Wed, 11/10/2004 - 7:06pm |