I've said hi before, but never really written a major or minor bio here, so I'm popping in to do it. I might make a habit of rewriting once a year, just to see what's changing.

I'm in my late thirties, thoroughly surprised to be there. In my head I'm certainly no more than 25, with forays into being 16 again. It's better to be 16 now that I'm older -- I have a better idea of what to do with myself, and I'm more stable.

I have bipolar disorder type II, thankfully very stable and getting more so at this point. Getting diagnosed and getting properly treated were part of a journey through hell. I was so irrational for a while that I was afraid I would abuse my children; I did verbally abuse them at one time. Now I take my meds as though my life depends on them, because my life as a rational, functional adult does depend on them, and I pay attention to my self-care needs.

I love to write, just getting words down on the page. I'm pretty good at writing, the technical end, but I wish I had more inspiration about what to write. Inspiration comes and goes, and it's not often that I get the end of something along with the beginning. I'm trying to be good about writing down beginnings, though, because without them there will be no endings.

I'm an artist, although just a beginner. I need the discipline of art classes to do any kind of consistent work, although I'm hoping that will change now that I'm stable for the first time in years. Very few things give me more pleasure than being knee-deep in a new piece. I love scribbling in my sketchbook and diving around in it to see if anything works as a new idea.

I have a husband who is remarkably liberated and very supportive. This is good, because I don't have the patience for male bullshit any more. I work hard, even though a lot of my work consists of just surviving, and even though I don't get a paycheck; I demand respect for the work I do. I love talking with my husband about his work, because he loves his work and is generally very happy doing it. There were years when he wasn't happy, or was actively unhappy, so I'm very glad that he's finally found something that suits him.

There are three monkey-children in this household, all very much beloved, even when they are driving me crazy. I homeschool them, just in case there isn't enough work around for me to do. I love to sit with them in my lap, just enjoying them and enjoying not being constantly angry around them. Two out of three of them needed therapy to help them deal with the fallout from the BPD; it's good to look at them now and know they're emotionally healthy.

I like to garden, but my energy levels mean that I have to garden on a small scale. I have one 2'x4' raised bed, and I'm planning to add one or maybe two more this year. The kids love to garden with me. Last year I planted a mix of lettuces and greens, and the whole family loved the salads we grew. The kids loved to help pick the greens, and onions, and enjoyed the one or two flowers I planted.

This year I'm planting a foundation garden out front, mostly with blue flowers to match the bright blue house. It's probably going to be a family project, since we'll have to dig and frame and fill the beds before we can plant them.

Night time can be difficult for me. I am often restless before falling asleep, and if I'm going to have a round of depression or the jitters or guilt from the BPD, this is when it's most likely to hit. Still, it's my favorite time of day, because night time is when my husband, B, and I finally get time alone to talk.

I'm to the left politically, although I'm not an activist -- I would like to be -- and I tend to be an idealist. I can't live up to my own ideals, though, so I try not to be too hard on everyone else when they can't either.