Mamaphonic - Fiction

Queen - Feedback, please! (mama sci-fi/fantasy)

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 20:27:11 -0700

Queen

She was surprised when she heard they were disappearing.

In her first year of teaching, an unexpected career change in her mid-thirties, she was very busy. She was still taking certification classes on the weekends and she was getting the hang of lesson planning and grading, so between being a first-year teacher and a mother, she was short on time. She must have missed the news a lot, because she did not hear about what was happening until it was already a tired joke that she watched, equally tired, on a late night comedy show.

Flash fiction feedback for former forums frequenter

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 18:27:44 -0800

Hey! Long time no post people....but I've been busy raising baby (who is now boy) and I've actually managed to write something recently that I want to submit to a local yokel anthology in my part of the world....I want to call it flash fiction or creative-non-fiction. Anyway, what do you think? As always I appreciate any comments (harsh or not) from my fellow esteemed writing mothers.

Japan

Wed, 31 Dec 1969 16:00:00 -0800

n/a

NaNoWriMo?

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 17:41:21 -0700

is anybody else doing NaNoWriMo this year? i skipped last year but wrote the previous two years, and am more excited about this year than i've been before.

zannaL suggested starting a thread, so here it is. :)

A Measurement of Me

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:21:53 -0800

A Measurement of Me
By: Angela Petersen

My eyes are closed, yet I can still far too easily see the undisciplined wavering of the tiny light. For a brief moment, I glance at it through slitted eyes, fighting down annoyance. At times, its glow is so bright and inviting, and then just as I decide I love it, it flickers and dims so low I can barely see it, and it leaves me with a sense of bitter mistrust.

Altar Magazine Issue #6 Out Now!

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 10:42:09 -0800

ISSUE #6 IS OUT IN JANUARY!
Interviews:
Ari Up (The Slits), Utah Phillips, Living Islam Out Loud (Saleemah
Abdul-Ghafur, Samina Ali, Su’ad Abdul-Khabeer, Yousra Fazili, Asra
Nomani), Franky & Minx

Article Highlights:
50 Cent: Seductive and Homoerotic? * Humanism vs. Feminism * Helen Keller
* Toy Soldier * A Prayer to Ganesh * Make Music for the Solution * The
George W. Bush Abecedary * Body Image: The Internal Struggle * Alternative

CP my first chapter, please!?

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 05:29:11 -0700

THis is the first chapter of my first novel! I need some help knowing if it's clear, and ANYTHING you can tell me will help.

So, what do you think? (and is it ok to just put this here? I'm new!)

Shopping

A sick knot began to form in the pit of Lisa Clark’s stomach as she remembered how tenderly the grubby, young mother had kissed her infant’s fingers before darting from the aisle. Had the strange girl dashed straight out of the department store? Or had she really headed to the Ladies’ room, as she’d said? And, if so, where was she now? What could be keeping her?

short essay, feedback appreciated.

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 09:07:33 -0700

I wrote this short essay on volunteering, for a zine submission.
I would really appreciate any and all feedback, good or bad.
Thanks mamas!

When my son started kindergarten at a very small school of 120 students, grades K-6, I became what is know to the PTA as “fresh blood.�? Because the district cut funding for art and music in the elementary schools, the PTA put volunteer programs in place to insure students would still get exposure to the arts in their early schooling. My willingness alone suddenly qualified me for becoming an art docent to a combined class of 19 kindergarten and first graders. My having actually taken art classes years and years ago at a college made me influential in helping draw up lesson plans in accordance to district standards. It all happened rather quickly and surprisingly and I appeared to be the only one questioning my sudden qualifications. Having never stood before a classroom as some sort of adult with something to say, something to teach, I started to inwardly panic the night before my first day. I was terrified, not to mention furious with myself for being flattered into this position. How was I going to pull it off?

feedback wanted/needed/appreciated!

Mon, 11 Jul 2005 16:44:32 -0700

I think this is a good place for this since I seem to be struggling more with the writing.

I'm putting together a submission for an art publication. I'm going for a very simple photo/journal type thing. A short written introduction to a series of photographs.
I would love any constructive feedback anyone would be willing to throw my way. I'm rather stuck because I don't know what else to do with it, but it doesn't feel finished, either.

Hurting Cinderella

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 21:31:09 -0700

It was my fault, all of it. It was all my fault for loving him, for marrying him, for not knowing and then not seeing. I didn’t know, I never guessed, but it was still my fault. I should have known.

Cinderella was only a year old when I met Henri. My girls and I had been on our own for six years already; it was six years since their father had died and six months since Cinderella’s mother’s passing. Drusilla was ten and Anastasia was eight and we were a good team still. We did everything together, went everywhere together, talked about everything and shared everything…and then I met Henri.

"Violet," but no relation to the mama magazine

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 09:44:25 -0700

OK...have never posted any work on here. So be gentle. I'm usually a poet, but I have one short story published in a small zine. I'm much better with comedy...but this is supposed to be relatively serious. Not sure if this is just short story or beginnnings of fiction novel. Enough with the set up...any (constructive) feedback would be appreciated:

"Violet"

Violet sprayed down the dark freeway thinking that it looked like black, glossy lips. Maybe the lanes were a few sets of black, glossy lips. If that were so, then they must be the lips of a Goth. And this worked with the music playing on the radio, informed the image actually, the female voice desperate and floating over violins with the echo of a tamborine in the background that sounded like the rattling of chains. She had one hour before she had to return home. She wanted a cigarette to go with her mood, the atmosphere she was creating in the car: sullen, reckless, about to burst, midnight blue. But she quit smoking when she got pregnant, and all the books said that second hand smoke was bad for the baby too. There was plenty of frozen breast milk for the baby, and eventually they’d start him on formula and after a while he wouldn’t even notice her absence. He’d only had a few weeks to get to know her anyway. Her death would be something to keep Lucas from growing into an ungrateful little brat. He’d have to grow up thinking and analyzing her suicide. He’d be a person, no matter how happy, that always seemed a little sad. Peter would be different. He’d wear his wedding ring for a while, probably six or seven months, maybe even a year, at least until his itch to be free of her became too much, and then he’d take it off and stow it away for safe keeping, in case he and Lucas needed to pawn it down the road, rationalizing all the time that he was keeping it for its sentimental value. This image made her angry. But he’d wear it during those months to make everyone feel uncomfortable, to make them pity him and then he’d turn on them if they did take pity on him. It was a good vehicle for the martyrdom that he’d always planned for himself. She’d give him that gift if she committed suicide.

okie-dokie, please read & give opinions

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 17:31:24 -0700

mamas, I reworked this piece after reading at my writers' group last night. what do you think? it's the latest entry, titled "Wasted on the Young". any ideas on where to send it?

http://journals.aol.com/kiakiali/MamakiasNest/

Writing children's books

Tue, 28 Dec 2004 09:59:44 -0800

I am currently writing a children's book about my daughters and their cousin whom they spent summer vacation with. It takes place on a haunted plantation in Savannah Georgia. There are true and actual events as well as fiction which makes it really interesting. I would love to have it published but have only a vague idea as to how. I do know that no one will touch it unless I have an agent. So, how do I get an agent?

Question

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 07:25:40 -0700

Hello- I am beginning work on a novel that is set in a real town where I lived as a child. In the story, the main character returns there as an adult - present day. She gets a job at a restaurant and I use the real name of the restaurant. Her love interest works at a health food store. There isn't an actual health food store in this particular neighborhood. Can I just make one up? Perhaps this is a silly question, but if I set a story in a real town, does everything about the details have to be accurate? As far as store names and locations and such? I appreciate any feedback!

Need Advice:Anyone published a novel?

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 07:09:20 -0700

I'd love some veteran writer's opinion on getting a novel published. . .

I've finished writing the novel and have submitted queries to approx. 35 agents. Since then I have received a collection of impersonal rejection letters, a handful of encouraging/personal rejection letters, and just one call from an agent requesting a manuscript. (Am still waiting to hear what she has to say about the portion I sent her.)

I haven't published fiction before, and I'm wondering if that's why I'm not getting much response. I'm really at a loss as to the best way to proceed. Should I persevere with the agents hoping to find someone who will take a chance on an unpublished writer or would it be better to enter the manuscript or a portion of it in competition to see if I can get some recognition? Or should I try submitting to a smaller university press? I believe in my novel.