I am listening to the sound of helicopters overhead. Today is the day of civil disobedience over the Sean Bell verdicts. I have not been keeping up with the news, with what has been planned. I saw it last night on the news, briefly, 6 different meet-up points for protests.

This afternoon, with the helicopters whining overhead for the past two hours, I am thinking about them more. Should I go? Not to get arrested, but to be a person in the crowd supporting the Bell family and showing my unhappiness over the verdict, over the reality that three cops, regardless of color, can pump 41 or 50 (will it be 75 next?) bullets into an unarmed 23-year-old black man and get away with it.

It is possible that I have been sucked into another blogging site.

Usually I check Mamaphonic on a semi-regular basis, and spend far too much time on LiveJournal, and that's it unless I'm searching for recipes or something else specific. But a friend is involved in the launch of a foodie site, and she's invited me to be in on beta-testing.

I like reading her food writing. She's casual about her involvement with baking, so it's fun to read her and it's not intimidating. The new site is specifically supposed to be a place where people can talk about food without being pretentious. So I checked it out and opened an account.

One is supposed to clean house for the New Year. Every year, I pledge to clean my house before the Lunar New Year. Every year, I fail to do so and for the rest of the year, my house is chaos. Whether this is because I started the year with it in chaos and thus am doomed to have this happen all the rest of the year or simply because I am not domestic, well, that's a question that I'll ponder while waiting for the subway sometime when I've forgotten my book.

It seems a little funny to be starting a 300 words thread when the old one is so small, but it seems even stranger to write about 2008 in a 2007 thread, so here we are.

The new year has brought a new schedule for the homeschool. We're still Monday through Wednesday, but instead of staying home and working on and off, interspersed with chores, we're getting up a little earlier and going to the library for some concentrated time. We did our first day yesterday and it went pretty well, but it's still new, so we'll see how we feel in a couple of weeks when the shiny has worn off.

Last night I had an appointment at the gynecologist so that he could go over my mammogram and ultrasound results. There was a giant poster of Santa's head taped to the doorway that led into the examination rooms. Maybe because I'm stressed out or possibly because I've been reading David Sedaris, I couldn't help but imagine the doctor dressed up as Santa. I imagined the look of horror on some poor woman's face when Santa walked in to do her pap smear. I know it's warped, but it did help my stress level a bit. When I did finally make it into the exam room, my doctor (not Santa) walked in and said to me, "your breasts are a mess!" To which I replied, "ugh, yeah." What do you say to that? I don't want to give the guy a hard time. I think he was just trying to be lighthearted. I probably know more about the pathology results than my poor doctor does. In the last week I've read Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book cover to cover as well as skimmed through a large handful of other breast cancer books. I've read through Gershon's cancer diet book, ayurvedic health books, Chinese medicine books, etc. etc. I've read every FAQ off of hundreds of breast cancer related websites. If it is published somewhere, I have tried to find it and understand it. So the doctor didn't say anything I didn't expect. He said we wouldn't know until after the biopsy results and then we'd take it from there.

I haven't started a 300 words thread in a year! It seems fitting.
Last November I was slapped in the face with a shocking dose of 'reality'. It's been a long and drawn out process. A year later, it still stings. I've let my guard down too many times, I've revealed my half healed wounds, only to have them ripped open anew.
Now, bruised. I am biding my time. Waiting patiently for denoument.
I don't know what I weighed a year ago, but now when I walk I can feel my bones against my baggy clothes. Most days I feel like a walking bag of bones.

Today is the first day of October, the launch of fall officially around where I live. October is one of my favorite months. We always get in a lot of late summer activities as well as fall stuff, and here in Northeast Ohio it is the only month of fall as some years we have snow as soon as early November. So I like it just for that; the mild weather before the winter hits.

This month I'll be helping out with fall activities at both boys' schools, and we may possibly throw a Halloween party. Until the weather turns we will hang out back and toast vegan marshmallows over the fire on the weekends, and I will pull the corn stalks from the garden and make autumn decorations with them. This is the season of orange spice tea and hot apple cider, crock pot meals and pumpkin pie.

It doesn't look as though the house is going to sell. We relisted the first, in less than ten days our latest contingency is over, we're hardly getting any traffic. If it doesn't sell by October, we'll pull it off the market & try again in the spring. We all need a break. It's exhausting.

M1 missed her second day of school because she wasn't feeling well. I am not feeling great now, but I suspect I'll muster everything up & go into work tomorrow anyway.

Yeah, so I got nothin' clever title-wise. It is what it is.

House still not sold. That's about all that needs said about that.

Scooby Doo marathon that would entertain the kids all day, but since they have all of them on DVD, I guess I should toss them outside to do whatever it is kids do in the summer on a nice day. Run around like wild maniacs & play with all the neighborhood kids...

So, a dear friend over at Hip Mama sent me an article about miscarriage and it was really fascinating and it got me to thinking. It is a really strange process to go through a miscarriage and with one in every six women having one at some point in their lives,I assumed their would be many sources of discussion and support. My, was I wrong. In my findings, it is the total opposite. There are very few books regarding the actual process of going through a miscarriage; I'm not only talking about the emotional changes, but the physical as well. I feel like my body is left floundering as to how to function right now. I'm not pregnant anymore but still have an arsenal of hormones, hence my resemblence to a pubescent boy with pimples scattered all over my face.